thank { full }

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today is the day of eating turkeys and watching football and getting together with your relatives to pack on a few extra pounds that, let’s face it, we totally won’t regret in the morning. at least, me and the little bebe inside me don’t regret a single thing.

today was also the day i finally went to thanksgiving with the fiancee’s side of the family. and oh man do i love them. there were children, children everywhere. food. football. card games that got way too intense. there were baby bumps with the other lovely lady in the family who is all preggers right now too { we quite enjoy ourselves }. and there was food.

so i am stuffffffed with not only amaaazing food today { and like super extreme excitement for little baby beck on the way, and also hoping that this little one is a boy, but crossing my fingers we don’t have all. boys. forever. it’s kinda a beck tradition. and oh man i don’t think i can handle a houseful of boys. but, seriously people say that all the time. and survive. so. }, but i am also filled to the brim with thankfulness.

thankfulness for love and family and support. and for encouragement when life gets just too darn stupid for any human to deal with on their own. thankfulness for warm food and a warm home and cozy scarves. today i am thankful for being home, for being in a place i adore, the place i grew up in. thankful for a Lord and Savior who, in His last moments of hanging on a cross for the entirety of the world’s sins, had my name on His lips, and died so that in turn i could love. thankful for unconditional love. thankful for new life, and for clean slates, and for baby fingers and toes and noses.

and more than anything, thankful for a man who loves me more than life. for a boy that i had a crush on in junior high who turned into a man, like overnight. before my very eyes. a man that was my best friend through high school and decided he wanted to stick around for the long haul. i’m thankful for a man who is a provider by nature, and a man of the Lord. a man who knows what family is. a man who i know, for certain, will never leave my side and will love me through any. circumstance. i am thankful for a man who once gave me butterflies in my tummy, that now have turned into little tiny feet.

i am so thankful for you, love of my life.

what are you thank { full } for?

xoxo.

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27 months

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i want to love you in physical. not just through words. i want you to hear me say i love you and i want to kiss you and i want to warm up your hands with mine and touch the back of your neck and i want to love you in physical. in words. in emotions. in feeling. i want to love you here. with me. but i will love you over distance and silence and empty spaces until i can see you and be with you. and let my love be with you when i am not there. because its raining and the night is dark but it’d be darker if i did not have the thought of you to keep me company. and i love you so much it’s keeping my heart lit up. even if the light does not reach my eyes or reach my smile or anything visible. you’re the only thing in my heart and you’re the only one. the only one i’ve learned how to love, and more than that, the only one i want to love. because i know you and my heart knows you and this is my favorite. i know the way you don’t like to listen to music very loud when i’m in the car so we can talk, even if it is a very good song and i want it loud. i know how you sound when you sleep and i know how you dream because you tell me and i know the way that you kiss my mouth hard and the way you taste and the warmth of your body on mine and the way you smell and the way we smell when we’re together. and the way you always roll down your window when i leave so i can kiss you one more time. i know the way you will call me as soon as you get out of class so you can talk to me as you walk back to your car, and i know the way that you’ll message me one last time before you go to sleep, even if i have been asleep hours before. i know the way that you cry and i know the sound of your voice when i know you’re getting tired and weak and sad. and i know the look you give when you’re angry and the way you say you’re sorry. i know the sounds you make when we kiss and the way your hands run over my back and i know all of this about you. and i keep it in my heart and i keep all of you in my heart, even the things you don’t know about yourself. but i’m noticing. everything you do and everything you say and every way you love me. and i love you so much and i don’t know how to show you the extent of my love for you. because you are not here and i am not there and distance is a son of a bitch but it is only physical and anything physical can be conquered. everything, really, can be conquered. i swear with this love we can move mountains that get in our path. i could build a city with all this love i have for you.

happy 27 months. 18 more days until the rest of forever.

(27 months was really sunday. but the love is still there, even though this post is late)